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Dispenses liquor out of bum hole. Don’t worry, not human bum hole. Warthog bum hole. Two of them, actually. And as you can clearly tell, one was a boy and one was a girl. Maybe I’m just a romantic, but I like to think that they were married. Happy anniversary my dear, let’s have a toast to many more years of wedded bliss here on the African savanna. What’ll it be — Beam or Jager?

BMEzine: It’s not always skulls, pierced hearts and angry Disney characters. There is in fact a brisk market for intentionally geeky tattoos. Like reeeeally geeky. Like Star Wars AT-AT a la Salvador Dali. I don’t expect the designation to hold up for too long, but for the sake of argument I will call this the geekiest tattoo I have ever seen. [ty bb, coop]

Cracked’s list of 9 Corporate Attempts at Edgy that Failed is pretty good, although the top spot is slightly botched. They got the corporation right — McDonald’s — but not the attempt. You could think on it all day long and still not come up with anything more clueless than the 2005 banner ad that said “Double cheeseburger? I’d hit it!” Daily News: Nation’s most inclusive state, New Jersey, suddenly has something against Brazilians. Slate: Britney Spears is so If-You-See-Kay-ing clever I can’t stand it. […]

Tom Brokaw, Melissa Theuriau, Katie Couric and Seth Meyers keep bugging me on Facebook, waving around checks with my name on them. I know many of you are feeling the pain of recession, and I’m here to tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just sit tight and be a good person and pretty soon you’ll be getting checks from newscasters and comedians as well.

I asked the Playboy Advisor and got the straight story: Penis-enlargement is big business. Pun unavoidable. 1. Whip up a placebo (usually made of oats) with a suggestive name. 2. Devise a convincingly unpolished infomercial (these people are not actors — they are men with small penises and accredited urologists willing to lie for money). 3. Count the cheddar, baby. Those pushing name-brand trouser snake oil are making hundreds of millions of dollars off of nothing, and unless they’re dumb enough to renege on money-back […]

Which is better

“I’m a Cuckoo” from Dear Catastrophe Waitress was the best song Belle and Sebastian put out post-Boy With the Arab Strap. What makes it more appealing? Stuart Murdoch in jogging shorts: …or Lisa and Molly in hats slapping each other? Yeah, not really a fair fight, is it.

BBC: It’s a veritable witch hunt in Gambia, which has invited witch doctors from Guinea to hunt witches. What could possibly go wrong? Gambian police and army are on the case, though, ensuring that no villagers can escape and that all suspected witches have enough diarrhea-inducing potion to drink. NYT: Demise of David Alan Grier’s Chocolate News and D.L. Hughley’s CNN shows chalked up to difficulty of finding the right black man for the job. Tip: Get someone who’s funny and/or intelligent. Sure, Conan O’Brien […]

Japan trying to replace robotic, affect-less runway models with actual robots. “‘Even as a fashion model, people in the industry told us she was short and had a rather ordinary figure,’ says Hirohisa Hirukawa, one of the robot’s developers.” Mamma Mia, thatsa spicy capitalist junk food. North Korea gets pizza. “Chefs were sent to Italy for training by leader Kim Jong-il, who said North Koreans should be able to try the world’s best foods.” It’s official: Monkeys practice better dental hygiene than me. Video of […]

Such sweet sorrow

Aww, this is cute. Neil baked his boss a cake with his letter of resignation on it. [ty BB] You know what they should do? They should bake you a cake that tells you you’ve been laid off. As someone who’s been laid off a couple of times (thank you, magazine industry), I can say that a few slices of cake would have softened the blow.

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