Can’t stand these links for Friday

They say the internet is a series of chairs. This is some stuff stuck to the bottom of those chairs.

British retailer eliminates so-called “boobage penalty.” Actually nobody has called it the “boobage penalty.” I just made that up. Stand back, I’m a professional writer.

Honestly I didn’t think Eddie Izzard could be any funnier. But that’s before I saw his bits done in Lego form. Death Star Cantina. Do you have a flag?, Romans/Carthaginians/Elephants, etc. Yes I know these are old.

Last night Colbert brought up Sean Hannity’s increasingly fragile grip on reality. I thought he was going to show us the criticism of the President’s choice of mustard. Instead Colbert covered the much, much crazier Liberty Tree commentary. I don’t want to spread rumors, but I think Sean might have the swine flu.

Frankly I don’t quite understand the necessity of this article, but it’s America Olivo, whom I interviewed several months back and who is on the cover of the new issue of Playboy. Without shilling for the company too heavily I’ll just say that I was never really a Terry Richardson fan, but his shoot of America converted me. I think it’s the best Playboy cover I’ve seen in, like, maybe ever.

I don’t know if this is really the “ultimate bachelor pad.” It’s the ultimate Star Trek fan bachelor pad, but that to me is a very different thing. A bachelor pad should make the inhabitant seem cooler — idea being that if you were to invite a lady up for coffee she would become aroused by the evidence of your impeccable taste and healthy bank account, and one thing would lead to another, and you probably would never even have to make the coffee. This guy’s place might creep a few women out. Basically any woman who isn’t a Trekkie, which is most of the good ones.

No idea. Guy singing in the shower, smoking some sort of electric cigarette. The next Susan Boyle, I reckon.

If you were to total up all the hours I have spent playing video games in my life, the biggest time-suck of all might have been Duke Nukem. So it is with sadness that I read that Duke Nukem Forever will probably most likely never ever come out. ‘Course I wasn’t holding my breath — If I had been holding my breath, I would have suffocated 11.999999 years ago.

Guy caught having a wazz in a car with open sunroof. A bit vulgar, but no blog today would be complete without it.

Look at this Fucking Hipster. Somebody had to say it. If you’re going to dress up in a stupid pay-attention-to-me costume, at least be intentionally funny. I am not sure what a Free Bouncy Ride entails, but if this guy showed up on my subway late at night I would at least greet him with a smile and not a roll of the eyes. Thing is (note the L train) the bouncy rides guy probably lives on the same block in Williamsburg as the fucking hipsters. It’s a fine line between funny and annoying. No it isn’t.

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